1. Stop thinking that life is so difficult. Maybe, all it takes is thinking that things in life ARE easy, rather than just wishing for it.

2. Stop pitying myself so much. I’ve got two regional qualifying swim times, I’ve got two jobs [one of which is a management position], I’ve got a great amount of running motivation, I’ve got my mom who I can get along with sometimes, I’ve got my friends that text me every night, I’ve got someone who’s willing to do anything to make my life that much better. Maybe it’s not the life I would pick, but it’s certainly not a life I should be complaining about. A pair of Nikes in a color you don’t like is still a pair of Nikes, and is still a far cry from no shoes at all.

3. Stop being so attention-seeking. People think I know exactly who I am. Maybe, I know myself better than I think, but maybe that person doesn’t need the spotlight as much as she wishes. Maybe I should try taking a step back.

4. Call Mark Gewurz more often. That kid has been the one to sit there at parties with me when I felt too dizzy to dance, too shy to talk to the cute guy, too tired to play guitar hero. That kid is the one who sat next to me on the floor in the corner at all the last day of school parties and looked like an idiot with me, maybe like a loser, as we cackled about Arrested Development and traded ipods. And he’s such an introvert. And off in Canada. Maybe I could be a better friend.

5. Give a friend some space. Obviously I’m being blind to what my friend needs to hear, and I’m being the terrible person who keeps pushing, testing, saying something more to see how far I can take it. I realize I’m out of my mind, but she doesn’t need to share it with me. That’s what Kevin’s for.

6. Be true to myself. Let’s start being honest, today.